Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Friday, January 17, 2020

Passions of a Papillon by Tara Lain - Blog Tour with Author's Guest Post, Excerpt Link, and Giveaway


A cool-hearted guy meets a big-eared dog who takes him to a hot vet hiding a dark secret.





Passions of a Papillon
by Tara Lain

Blurb:

After you’ve sold your soul to the devil, can you renegotiate with a dog?

Brilliant defense attorney, Finn Morgenstern, knows the worst guys pay best, so defending slimeball, Rance Franklin, becomes his path to senior partner and a whole lot of benefits. But then a walk home to his pricey townhouse brings him face-to-ears with a batshit-crazy little dog who just won’t leave him alone. So Finn takes the dog to the local veterinarian to find out how to get her back to her owners. 

Hello vet! Emerson “Em” Fairweather sure doesn’t match his stodgy name. Tall, platinum blond, and gorgeous, Em puts the pet in pet ownership. But Em has ugly secrets and Batshit dog is up to her ears in larceny. Suddenly Finn is the one who needs defending, and he’s faced with a choice between what he thought was important and a whole new batshit-crazy life.



Available to purchase at 

Part of the KU program




Fun Facts About PASSIONS OF A PAPILLON

Hi! I’m delighted to be here to celebrate the release of my new romance, PASSIONS OF A PAPILLON. This book is dear to my heart for reasons you may know.

Here are a few of those fun facts –
·         This is the first in a new series that will feature the pets of men who all go to the same vet in Corona del Mar, CA.
·         Of course, the first book has to feature a papillon, since my dog, Jolie, is one. She’s an 8.5 lb. terror, way too smart for her own good, sassy, barky, and totally lovable
·         The dog in the book does a lot of precocious things, but they’re not far-fetched for a papillon. They are the smartest toy dog and are the only natural toy on the top 10 list of smartest dogs -- up there with border collies.
·         Corona del Mar is a charming seaside town in southern California just a few minutes north of Laguna Beach where I set many of my books. It’s in Newport Beach, however, the most expensive city in the U.S., so it’s not a place everyone can live.
·         My heroes are a lawyer with a hardening heart who is softened by a dog – and the gorgeous vet with a lot to hide who he finds to take care of her.
·         This is my first brand new, full length novel to go straight into KU, so if you’re a member, you can get it for free.
I hope you love PASSIONS OF A PAPILLON! This is what one advance reviewer said,
This is an absolutely brilliant and funny read, with a crazy loveable dog and stereo typical bad guys, and of course the 2 heroes who fight for good. Tara has written a wonderful book that I know I will be rereading again and again. Warning - Batshit steals every scene as any princess should, and as a cat person it is really saying something that I neeeeeed to have this dog in my life. It is a real one sitting read, a little bit of angst, lots of love, some great one liners and as mentioned a batshit crazy dog you just fall in love with. Wish I could give it more stars.”




About the Author


Tara Lain believes in happy ever afters – and magic. Same thing. In fact, she says, she doesn’t believe, she knows. Tara shares this passion in her best-selling stories that star her unique, charismatic heroes — the beautiful boys of romance —  and adventurous heroines. Quarterbacks and cops, werewolves and witches, blue collar or billionaires, Tara’s characters, readers say, love deeply, resolve seemingly insurmountable differences, and ultimately live their lives authentically. After many years living in southern California, Tara, her soulmate honey and her soulmate dog decided they wanted less cars and more trees, prompting a move to Ashland, Oregon where Tara’s creating new stories and loving living in a small town with big culture. Likely a Gryffindor but possessed of Parseltongue, Tara loves animals of all kinds, diversity, open minds, coconut crunch ice cream from Zoeys, and her readers. She also loves to hear from you.   


You can find Tara at Lain


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Monday, November 18, 2019

Seduced By The Soldier by Melia Alexander - Blog Tour with Teaser and Giveaway


Seduced by the Soldier

Publisher: Entangled Publishing, LLC

Release Date (Print & Ebook/Audio): November 18, 2019

Length: Approximately 57,000 words

Subgenre: Romantic Comedy


Book blurb: Zandra York just got her big break, photographing a major project for a travel magazine. So what if she’s never traveled out of the country before? Or that she’s more adept at deciphering fraudulent financial statements than reading German train schedules? Her brother Jackson is on his way to act as her guide, and she can’t wait to experience Europe with him.

But when Jackson’s overprotective best friend gets off the plane instead, Zandra knows this will not end well.

There isn't a damned thing Special Forces instructor Blake Monroe wouldn't do for his best friend, but babysit Zandra when Jackson is unexpectedly called away on a mission? Nope. Not on the list. Especially not when she proves to be more trouble than he can handle—and far too tempting.

Between accidentally hiring a hearse as their rideshare, an unprovoked goat attack, and photographing erotic-shaped chocolates, Blake and Zandra can’t keep their hands off each other. But Zandra’s new career is about to send her all over the world and Blake is finally ready to settle down after his next deployment.

He’ll never ask her to give up her dreams. And she’ll never ask him to give up his.

Hilarity ensues when a world-weary Special Forces soldier must keep his best friend's little sister, an independent travel photographer with zero experience and too much determination to go where she has no business going, out of trouble.


Blog Tour Teaser:

“It wasn’t debauchery, it was a bachelorette party. And I’m happy to report the bachelorette was thrilled that her bridesmaids had as good a time as she did. I just wish Tina hadn’t banned my camera. Although there really was good reason to not want evidence.”

“Did no one think to use a phone?”

“Oh, she made sure we gave them up before we started. Smart lady.” Then Zandra let out a small laugh. “Did you know elephants have relatively small penises?”

He cocked his head to one side. “Why do you feel the need to tell me this?”

“You know that old saying about how size doesn’t matter?” she asked, clearly ignoring his question. “Well, it’s apparently true in some parts of the world.”

Her face cracked into a smile that soon broadened again. But her eyes were what captured Blake. They practically sparked with mischief, and he shifted uneasily in his seat. Damn. If he didn’t know any better, he’d swear she planned to make this trip harder than it should be.

“Am I going to be subjected to penis talk until we get to Stuttgart? Because maybe I should hop off this train and head back to Seattle.”

“Oh, stop whining,” she said, settling back against her seat. “Seriously, though, Tina’s going through with this whole marriage thing, and I’m not sure I get it. She’s got a couple more years of law school, so why they don’t wait doesn’t make sense.”

Well, she had him there. She was talking to someone chomping at the bit to get into law school, only she didn’t know that. No one did. Not even his mother.

Melia Alexander is the author of sassy, sexy, fun contemporary romances, but is also fortunate to spend her week days at The Male Observation Lab (a.k.a. her job at a construction company) where she gets to observe guys in their natural habitat. Though they often behave like typical alpha males, she's often seen through their personas to the heart of who they really are - the heroes of their own stories. A native of Guam, Melia traded in warm, tropical breezes for the rainy Pacific Northwest. She's an avid reader who also loves romantic comedies - preferably with a glass of Cab Sauv and a box of dark chocolates nearby. In her free time, she's busy conquering her CrossFit fears: ring dips, power cleans, and the dreaded 800 meter run.

Connect with Melia: Website |  Newsletter | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest

Giveaways:

Blog and Review Tour Giveaway: Celebrate the release of SEDUCED BY THE SOLDIER! Enter to win one of three $5 Amazon Gift Cards from Melia Alexander!


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Monday, April 2, 2018

Midnight Twist by Rian Durant - Release Blitz with Excerpt and Giveaway



Title:  Midnight Twist
Author: Rian Durant
Publisher:  NineStar Press
Release Date: April 2, 2018
Heat Level: 1 - No Sex
Pairing: Male/Male
Length: 19700
Genre: Paranormal, LGBT, fantasy, humor, demons

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Synopsis

Jaydon can’t afford to lose a bet he’s made, so when the sweet as sin Eluin offers him The Contract, it may be exactly what he needs. Or is it? Things get a little twisted with the cheeky demon being around.

The number of demons in Jaydon’s apartment grows, with Eluin’s big brother Eluel and his wayward lover Sam showing up. The couple is at a breaking point in their own on/off relationship and this time getting back together seems as probable as hell freezing over.

Excerpt


Midnight Twist
Rian Durant © 2018
All Rights Reserved

It all started with an espresso machine, even though I’d seen him drinking espresso only once in all the time we knew each other. Then he complained for three days that he hadn’t tasted such swill in his whole life. The fact that I’d made it for him with all my love didn’t cause him to show an ounce of tact.

I felt in my gut it was a tremendous mistake to enter the mall, but even if I’d tried to avoid it, I doubt he would’ve taken my opinion into account. He would’ve thrown a temper tantrum of magnificent proportions, which wasn’t a pretty sight. I’d been a witness and a victim of such antics once, only it was in front of a restaurant, which I hadn’t dared come close to ever since.

The glowing look in his eyes while we passed by the shop windows made my heart sink, because I couldn’t afford most of the things he stared at, especially with the plans we had for the rest of the week. My lovely boyfriend possessed a seductive appearance and a good heart, but his perceptions were terribly distorted due to eighteen years of systematic spoiling at the hands of his parents. He used to reassure me this wasn’t going to come between us since he was madly in love with me, but he couldn’t be further from the truth. After the ironic remarks I had been subjected to in the past few weeks, I knew I wasn’t going to get away with it.

I didn’t want to lose him, but it was clear that if I didn’t overcome my financial issues, his love for me would vanish into thin air together with his rebellious spirit, and he’d settle with any of the “appropriate partners” his parents tried to match him with. Once, one of his father’s business tycoon friends with his three hot lovers landed in front of my door and pounced on me, obviously not familiar with the appearance of his intended chosen one. I led a fierce battle using all means possible, which ended up being the shoehorn lying next to the shoes at the front door, in order to preserve my honor. Things deteriorated when Lyte came out of the bathroom in his short, sexy bathrobe to check why I was wreaking such havoc. We had to barricade the door and listen to a serenade for more than an hour before the police came to take them away.

I turned to Lyte with a smile, intending to remind him of that time the tycoon came calling, but when I caught his hand, he didn’t react at all. He had already seen it. He gazed at the window with an oblivious smile, and then raised his finger and pointed at it. A second later he issued a brief statement with a determination I’d rarely heard in the voice of another human being.

“I want it!”

At first, I couldn’t understand what the item in question was, wavering between a weird CD player, a hat rack, or Darth Vader’s helmet. But when the price tag next to it caught my attention, I shivered.

“You want an espresso machine? What do you need it for, sweetheart?”

“It will look great in the kitchen, don’t you think? The color scheme is the same, and besides, it’s so fancy with all these buttons!” He clapped. “You are going to buy it for me, love, won’t you?”

“But you don’t even drink coffee, sweetie.”

“It doesn’t matter. I can make tea in it. I mean, I’m sure it has such a function.”

I was positive it had a TV-watching function at least, judging by the price, which caused me severe trauma. I tried to sound as gentle and as reasonable as I could.

“We can’t buy it now, dear.”

His amazing blue eyes shot a quick malicious look at me, and he pouted. “So it wasn’t enough for you to turn me into a housewife, was it? Now you refuse to buy me this little sweet espresso machine. Did I understand you correctly?”

I didn’t know why he was always harping on it, given that there wasn’t an ounce of truth in his accusation, unless lying on the sofa with the remote control all day long was termed housekeeping these days. If it wasn’t for me, we would’ve both been dead by now because of the weird things he tried to cook a few times right after he’d moved in with me. I hardly let him do anything around the house, as I preferred to leave him enough free time to study. Week in, week out, he’d go to class to sit for some exams. There was a time when I suspected he was taking them in another way, not fit for a mixed audience, but he finally succeeded in persuading me in the opposite by quoting the declaration of human rights by heart.

I looked at him with regret and repeated to myself he wasn’t guilty in the least. His parents had driven him to this state of mind. I tried to hug him, which, naturally, I was denied.

“Are you really going to be mad at me over some stupid espresso machine?”

“It is not stupid!” he snapped. “You are stupid.”

I laughed, hoping he was joking like he sometimes did, but this time it was different. I suppose this was the proverbial last drop, so when we got home, he locked himself in his room without giving any explanation. After about an hour, he came out dragging his big red suitcase behind him.

“Eh? Sweetie pie…”

He hissed in my face like a kitten deprived of its food, with an expression showing me that if I breathed a word, anything I said would be used against me as he stomped past me, out the front door, slamming it behind him. Apparently, he’d realized there were two alternatives to obtaining his beloved espresso machine. One was to go back to his family, and after an enlightening reprimand on how he shouldn’t choose penniless partners like me, they would give it to him as a present. The other was to use his infinite charm and extort some other idiot with enough money into buying it for him.

I could get a credit card and buy the accursed gadget, but his leaving was a mixed blessing. I might’ve gotten him back, but next week he could decide he couldn’t live without some other splendid invention of modern science, and I couldn’t count on giving in and buying him every single thing he set his heart on.

Part of me wanted him back, but another part insisted that walking away was the best thing he’d ever done for me. We’d had great moments together, especially in the beginning, but to be honest, I’d wondered whether it wasn’t better we called it a day. Exhausted by all the thoughts swarming inside my head, I went to bed. The most difficult part was sleeping alone under the cold sheets after having someone to cuddle with for such a long time.

Purchase

NineStar Press | Amazon | Smashwords | Barnes & Noble | Kobo

Meet the Author


Rian is one of those who are both blessed and cursed by the insatiable desire to write. Short stories, sometimes longer stories and yeah, primarily M/M (you can insert more Ms if you like) romance stories.

Always having a plot in mind sometimes proves being hard when having a day time job but Rian manages them both for the time being, assisted by the priceless support of her soul mate, large amounts of coffee and pure obstinacy.

What makes Rian smile is a sunny day, a beautiful flower, a piece of chocolate, a nice song, a good book and anything that could be the reason for that spark in the eyes, accompanied by the exclamation: “Oh my, I just saw something!”

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Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Souls For Sale by Asta Idonea - Release Blitz with Excerpt and Giveaway



Title:  Souls for Sale
Author: Asta Idonea
Publisher:  NineStar Press
Release Date: March 26, 2018
Heat Level: 3 - Some Sex
Pairing: Male/Male
Length: 51600
Genre: Paranormal, LGBT, humor, demons, angels, nerds-geeks, artists, hell

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Synopsis

When demon Saul persuades comic book artist Tom to sign over his soul in exchange for a night of passion, little does he know what lies in store. Demons can’t fall in love—or so he’s been told—but he finds himself smitten and attempts to destroy the contract, desperate to save Tom from an eternity of torture.

With Saul and Tom forced to run, a showdown between Heaven and Hell ensues as the angels and demons argue over who owns Tom’s soul. But does either party have a stronger claim than Saul?

Excerpt


Souls for Sale
Asta Idonea © 2018
All Rights Reserved

Prologue
Saul

It’s tough being a demon in this day and age. Times are hard and souls just aren’t what they used to be. I should know; it’s my job to collect them. Or try to, anyway. What I wouldn’t give to go back to the good ol’ days when you could buy a soul as easily as an apple at the marketplace. And I mean a proper apple, plucked straight from the tree that morning. None of this modified, refrigerated crap that passes as fresh fruit nowadays.

I know what you’re thinking. Trust me; I’ve heard it all before. You’re wondering how it could be so hard to get someone to sign away their soul in an age when everything can be obtained for a price, when everything is for sale. Actors, bankers, politicians. You’d think rich pickings; am I right? Well, you’d be wrong.

Problem is that no one believes anymore. Picture this: I walk up to someone and offer to grant them anything their heart desires in exchange for their soul. Now, in times past they’d either tremble in fear and drop to their knees, praying to the guy upstairs (my cue to leave), or they’d tremble in fear for a moment and then sign on the dotted line. Simple. Everyone knew where they stood. But if I were to try that today, most people would laugh in my face and walk off, or else they’d look uneasy and slink away from the ‘deranged lunatic’ as soon as possible. Hell, I miss the fear.

The faith is gone, you see, supplanted with technology, gizmos, and gadgets. An age of information. Everything you want, obtainable at the press of a button. What is there to long for anymore? What is there worth selling your soul for that you couldn’t get another way? Sure, you still have the old standards, the favourites—riches, power, and sex—but as I said, the belief is sadly lacking.

Every passing year it gets harder and harder to fill my quota. I have the boss breathing fire down my neck—both metaphorically and literally—and damned if I know how to get around the problem. It’s not just me. My colleagues are equally exasperated. It won’t be too much longer until it’s impossible to sign up even one new soul to burn in everlasting Hell. Then what’s a conscientious, hard-working demon to do?

Anyhow, I guess it’s about time I introduced myself. The name’s Saul. Yeah, I know, but it’s not like I picked it. We get what the boss dishes out, and I drew the short straw that day. Guess he was in one of his funny moods. I’m here today following a mark. I’m actually pretty stoked I found this guy, as he’s shaping up to be the most promising potential soul-seller I’ve seen in several months. Hey, try saying that three times fast! The trick now is not to rush things, not to push him too hard or too fast.

Oh, here he comes. See if you can pick him from the crowd. No? Hard, isn’t it? Everyone looks the same these days. It used to be so much easier to tell a sinner from a saint. Now the line is so blurred it barely exists at all.

But I digress. Just wait a moment… There! See the guy heading into the pub? The one in the Marvel T-shirt? With the blond curls? That’s our man. Bit of a stereotype of a comic-book nerd, isn’t he? Unlikely to sell his soul, you think? Well, we’ll soon see.

Purchase

NineStar Press | Amazon | Smashwords | Barnes & Noble | Kobo


Meet the Author

Asta Idonea (aka Nicki J Markus) was born in England but now lives in Adelaide, South Australia. She has loved both reading and writing from a young age and is also a keen linguist, having studied several foreign languages.

Asta launched her writing career in 2011 and divides her efforts not only between MM and mainstream works but also between traditional and indie publishing. Her works span the genres, from paranormal to historical and from contemporary to fantasy. It just depends what story and which characters spring into her mind!

As a day job, Asta works as a freelance editor and proofreader, and in her spare time she enjoys music, theater, cinema, photography, and sketching. She also loves history, folklore and mythology, pen-palling, and travel, all of which have provided plenty of inspiration for her writing. She is never found too far from her much-loved library/music room.

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