Title: Midlife Crisis
Author: Rob Rosen
Release Date: August 20th 2016
Genre: Gay fiction, romance, comedy
Jack is thirty-five and single once again. He is not, as he as quick to point out, going through a midlife crisis. Still, it would be nice to have a partner, and so he sets out on an adventure to find the one-time love of his life, Bing, a man he hasn’t seen in more than fifteen years, a man who has seemingly vanished off the face of the planet. With the help of his family and friends, not to mention the family dog and his high school bully, he goes searching for Bing, only to unearth an ages-old mystery that puts them all in grave danger. In this hysterically funny tale, the question remains right on up to the surprise ending: can we return to our past in order to better our future?
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"If you're looking for a humorous and intelligent book to read, Rob Rosen's Midlife Crisis should be on the top of your list. A tale of going back to move forward, as told by Jack, the story's main character, is full of youthful and gay witty repartee balanced with the poignancy that comes with adult life. It will make you laugh out loud one minute and get teary the next. Oh, and if you like a good murder mystery, there's that too. Kudos to Rosen for creating some very memorable characters." - Julian G, Simmons, Narrator,Widdershins audiobook series
"Rob Rosen does madcap gay humor better than anyone else writing today. Midlife Crisis is no exception." - Neil Plakcy, author of The Mahu Investigations
"Can you go home again? Rob Rosen explores the perils and promises of renewing a steamy boyhood affair in this witty romance wrapped in a murder mystery, seasoned with a dash of mature but spicy sex. The answer for his hero Jack seems to be "Yes," but watch out: there may be more "there" there than you think." - Louis Flint Ceci, author of Comfort Me
“Parsnips?” Greg asked me.
I looked over at him from the living room couch as he in turn poked his head out from the kitchen. “Um, huh?” I said, wondering if this was some new pet name he’d thought of for me, as he was forever coming up with new ones. Last I checked, I was being referred to as Professor.
FYI, I teach business at a local college. My students call me Jack or Mister Nelson. Professor makes me sound a.) old and b.) like a character in a television show. Also FYI, I am neither, though if he had to come up with anything from the latter category, I was rooting for Pepper, a la Angie Dickinson in Police Woman.
“Parsnips,” he repeated, already looking peeved with me, which was, sad to say, par for the course as of late. Par, bogie and eagle, in fact. Heck, let’s just toss in the entire golfing green and call it a day.
In any case, it wasn’t a question or a comment anyone had ever thrown my way. I squinted my eyes as I pondered this. In truth, I hadn’t a clue what a parsnip even was. Had I ever eaten one before? Would I still seem professorial if I asked what the hell one was? Did I even want to ask and risk his wrath, which consisted of him ignoring me the rest of the evening? Greg, you see, hated confrontation―though he loved being a world-class bitch.
“Just to be clear,” I asked, forcing a smile so as to divert the inevitable kerfuffle, “are you asking me if I want some with dinner?”
He matched my squint with a scowl. He started to say something, realized a fight of some kind would probably ensue, took his nine-iron and golf ball, and promptly left that aforementioned course. In other words, Professor zero, kerfuffle one. And yes, we had parsnips with our entirely silent dinner.
I drove through town. I ended up at the hospital. FYI, everyone who drove through town ended up at the hospital, though few actually pulled into the parking lot. I sighed as I stared up at the blocky structure. I had one friend in town I could talk to, one person who knew what I was going through, and wouldn’t you know it, he was nice looking, gay and had a twenty-year crush on me. When it rains it pours. Sadly, I’d left my umbrella back in San Francisco.
I got out of the car. It was either that or go shopping at the thrift store. Plan B might’ve been fun, but I gave all my money to my father. And no, something about that didn’t sound right.
I found him at his station. He smiled so big and bright that I regretted not wearing my sunglasses. “We’re making quite the habit of this, Jack,” he practically purred.
I strummed my fingers on his countertop out of well-placed nerves. Dave had that effect on me. I wondered if he had that effect on me way back when. I tended to doubt it, what with him bullying me and me fucking Bing at the time.
“So,” I said. “Have you had sex with all the people you picked on in high school?”
shrugged. “Most of them, yes.” He grinned. “Seems like I saved the best for last, though.”
Damn, he was good, which is why I zigged to his zag. That is to say, I smartly changed the subject.
Rob Rosen is the author of the critically acclaimed novels, Sparkle: The Queerest Book You'll Ever Love, the Lambda Literary Award Nominated Divas Las Vegas, which was the winner of the 2010 TLA Gaybies for Best Gay Fiction, Hot Lava, Southern Fried, the Lambda Literary Award Nominated Queerwolf, Vamp, Queens of the Apocalypse, Creature Comfort, and Fate, winner of the 2016 TRR Readers' Choice Award for Best Gay Romantic Comedy.
His short stories have appeared in more than 200 anthologies. You can find 20 of them in his erotic romance anthology, Good & Hot. He is also the editor of Lust in Time: Erotic Romance Through the Ages, Men of the Manor, Best Gay Erotica 2015 and Best Gay Erotica of the Year, Volumes 1 and 2.
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